What I'm up to: Blogging about my great weekend and the things I've been learning.

My character focus this year: Self-control/Discipline

How did I come to focus on this?

I realized that a lot of my character flaws is covered under this big umbrella. I need discipline in order to:

1) Complete what I started. I am a starter, not a finisher. Sad to admit, but it won't change 'til I deal with it. I am a generalist. I learn a little about everything, but fail to focus on one thing. I find myself jumping from one thing to another. I get excited and then when the excitement wears out, I move on. As a result, I am 30 and without a clear direction.

2) Control my temper. Yes, between my husband and I, I am the one who struggles with temper more. Joe (my husband) is able to control his tone even when he's angry. I lack the self control to keep my voice calm when I'm angry. I am harsher with words, and more prone to fits of rage. I've got to grow in my self-control if I want to kill this marriage love buster.

3) Pray. Now that life's gotten so much busier, prayer takes the sidelines, which, come to think of it, is counter productive. Who was it that said, "I have so much to do today and that's why I have to pray?" Dunno if I quoted him correctly, but I find that prayer is a discipline. If one is to pray and come before God's presence, he/she must be focused in order to not babble and be whole hearted.

4) Reach my goals. One who fails to plan, plans to fail. One who sets no goals, achieves no goals. I set a lot of goals, but I need discipline to accomplish them.

Anyway, there's so many more reasons. I looked online for any helpful book on discipline or self-control and found nothing substantial. Any tip, anyone?

But, I know that the Bible is filled with a lot of scriptures on this subject...so that's where I'm starting. At the end of my study, I hope to compile a book about this, and I hope to share it with you.

And you know what? Peter (the Rock) might be a good character study on temper/anger. I'm excited to read about him.

On Marriage:

Joe and I are going through the Dynamic Marriage class. In all honesty, we are struggling through it. There's a lot of homework to do, which is all great.

But you know what? I am proud of our teamwork. There were times when really get into arguments or passionate discussions. I can tell you that it's while doing this class that we (Joe and I) saw the worst of my angry outbursts so far. But, we are not giving up. I am grateful to my husband for really taking this seriously and leading me by his example.

I am learning so much, especially about myself. I learned that I have been out of touch with my real emotional needs. This is challenging for my husband because he will not able to meet my needs if I don't know them. So, this class pushed me to be gut-level honest about what will really make me happy in our marriage. I used to think it's a selfish question to ask, but now I realized its importance.

Last Saturday, we attended a marriage retreat, with David and Robin Weidner as speakers. Wow! Their insights, practicals, example, story blew me away.

One of the light bulb moments for me was when Robin explained the meaning of wives being suitable helpers to their husbands.

We women don't like the idea of being mere "suitable helpers" to men. But this is mostly because we don't realize God's design and real intent when He made us. The Hebrew word used to describe "suitable helper" in Genesis is "ezer". It really literally means "life saver".

We women were made with eyes that see danger, meaning our danger instincts are stronger than mens's. I guess that's why we're less inclined to try dangerous stuff. We were made to stand beside men, to fight with them, to warn them of danger or trouble.

I used to think that this side of me was a skill I developed when I was an event managemer. I was trained to think of "what could go wrong?", and to make sure that they don't happen. Now, I know that all women have this gift and we all should use it to support our husbands.

On parenting: Actually nothing much. Reading the "Discipline" book by Dr. Sears and getting things ready for Dayton's first birthday!

On website building: Taking time to study today, and possibly talking to my client today or tomorrow morning.

Lots to do, so I'll get started. Bye for now!